https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvZy1Y5vGYxkKuqUVO7NKVQ

Goodmorning everyone,I don't really know how to say this but, life has been tough in recent times and it has made me unable to teach out to my most priceless gift you my family. I am back now as I have won my adversaries, all Wil be more than happy to share with you all. There is a YouTube link at the beginning of this write-up please watch the video,subscribe, share if possible and drop and tell me what you think about this video. I hope and pray it adds values to your life.

Defend her honor first

“You should have defended me out there and blame me in here, I would have listen to you, instead you went and sat down with your family and you finished listening to all the blames, both the things I did and the ones I didn't and here you are screaming at me and calling me names over what I didn’t do”. There and there after hearing these statements. I immediately regretted my decision and further  questioned myself. Why of all days did I decided to carry my two left legs to visit my friend. Haven heard the first proofs that should have made me stand up and disappeared. Yet again I was still sutting down jejely in the living room when all of a sudden this shouts and cries cascaded from upstairs down to where I was seated.

Already, before I made my conclusions that my friend and his wife are in a very serious argument their daughter Racheal had already reported the matter. In her words “ sir, my Daddy will soon give my Mummy a dirty slap for slapping and kicking my Daddy” . Immediately she disappeared again into the tin air in the direction of the bedrooms upstairs. I was already on my foot in front of the television that was suppose to entertain me as a guest, but reverse is the case, instead it was the television was the one watching me as I try to decide to go upstairs or  not to go. Almost as I was about making a move to take the first climb of the stairs case , I saw my friend coming down with his face frawned face like one who just chewed a piece of lime orange. I looked at his shirt and I confirmed what little Racheal told me earlier, about her mother slapping and kicking her father. My friend is a very fair man, could also notice the injuries on his neck, obviously they were her  nails. Tunde my friend was trying to play cool, to cover up for his wife as he smiled and begged me to go and hang out and talk over a few drinks.

Dead silent in the car as we go down the central area to find a bar .finally we got an hotel and here we were just by the bar with a good views of the beautiful pool just not far from us, the light around the pool made everyone around it so beautiful,my friend was still silent. The matter at hand did not allow  me enjoy the ambiance of this very place. Upon arrival of our orders,in a rush he opened tge drink,like he just dropped from a desert,his first drink almost made the first bottle a thing of the past. Shortly after a deep breath he began. “My guy ,I swear man dey tolerate some kind extra shits, do you know that my wife slapped me, she was literally fighting me, look at my neck , no! no! just take a look” he said angrily as he finished the bottle as he called on the barman to bring another bottle. So he continued again “ what did I do wrong. Earlier today, I received a call from my mother telling me that, my younger brother’s wife was very disrespectful to my wife over the weekend when she came around, so she begged my wife to forgive and she told my wife a few other things that the lady has done too to her just to make my wife understood that she is not the only one the girl disrespects and maybe this may actually  calm her down, only for her my mum to  receive a call from her other children fighting and shouting and threatening that they are all coming to throw the girl out of her husband’s house. So my mum  told me that she didn’t like what my wife did,she told her all those thing out trusts . I apologize and begged mumsy down on behalf of my wife,later on I asked my wife in all calmness on why she called all these people to report all this things, she should have allowed my mother handle it her own way“ by the time he finished explaining I saw two empty bottles and he was half way into the third one. Without listening to the end, i knew what made his wife so mad. I confirmed it when he said “ I called her a gossip, I didn't  Even   say that. She just formulated everything, I just started sceaming that i said she was going around talking about the affairs of my family to everybody, she started screaming and I told her to shut up. Then the whole thing changed again, as she started  claiming  that I want to beat her. What kind of madness is this men” Another bottled bites the dust .

Haven thought deeply within myself, so I began, my friend you have today proofed to me that you are indeed a gentle man, not many men could hold their pride, temper this long;especially when they are truly  right; but you did. You have over come the trials of today, when you get home apologies to your wife so you can have peace. We apologies not because we are wrong sometimes, but because we value our relationship with our spouses more than been right,also my friend your peace of mind is more important men.

Now you know, it is not a good feeling at all to discover that your spouse don’t gat your back outside. Nothing is as painful as that feeling, knowing that you spouse is supporting another that is not you.For a woman, you have to fight, protect her dignity out side; even though deep inside you know that she is wrong, you have to protect her pride. When you alone with her, when nobody is there you can tell her how you feel about the entire arguments. Most people often make that mistake, going to take side  outside and just because they are convinced that they are right. It was never a game of being right or wrong . It’s about protection and deep understanding my Man.

      NOW  YOU KNOW.

Words to be unspoken.

My neighbors are at it again, they are at each other's throats again.The words they use on one another can  set almost anything on ablaze. The venomous nature of words they both used on each other shows no mercy at all; as it constantly  tears the walls of  Jericho. None of them was holding back any string of muscles as they both went whole 9 yards on each other. it was not a pleasant sight I imagined, it was  indeed battlefield. No one can sleep under such a hot conditions, so I was forced to listen. After listening for a while, I noticed the horrendous nature of the insults my neighbor and his wife rained  upon  other, but like Hiroshima and Nakazaki my neighbor's wife was quick drop a bomb in the form of a word that almost immediately changed face of the conflict, no one saw it coming,it was unthinkable. In her own very words she said "I am only concern about money you waste on them,I know no lady out there can enjoy that broomstic of a penis of yours" that was the stroke that broke the camel's back . Any man who hear what she said to her husband, May never forgive her on behalf of all the men. Personally, I think she took it too far; for she has  said the unthinkable. No woman should use such a word on a person you claim to love. What she said immediately brought silence upon the earth, I could almost envisaged the predicament of the man at this time, he must be in  shock, a lot of things going through his mind at the moment. From the silence,He never saw that one coming,never knew she was capable of saying such a thing. I think the only saving grace the Man had was that it all happened within the confines of their bedroom. The next thing I heard the man said was “ this is the end of both of us” as the door bangs to a  close.

Regardless of anything, there  are words meant to be unspoken, for no reason should go that far as to use things like this on another person, especially with somebody you share so much intimacy with, someone you love. Words can almost reduce something so good to nothing and can make something so bad look good, In between is a choice. There will always be conflict in relationships, but know this, how you handle it is what makes you a better person. Two wrongs can never make a right. Sometimes It is the ability to not do that makes one a better person. Trying to inflict pains with words on one another whenever  there is conflicts in a relationship is mostly the final recipe for ending any relationship. Just like my neighbor, the both of them didn't have to  say such terrible thing to each other, they were both talking and none of them was listening, none of  them was communicating . None of them made any efforts  to address the problem instead, they were both hell bent on seeing each other in pains. The only thing they got right was to not let the conflict end up in physicality. The Man left the room when he had enough, perhaps he should have left long before he did. For taking so much only to walk away, I think he should be commended, I think he deserves a medal. Below are the words that can almost reduce any good relationship to nothing. Words like the ones below.

            WORDS COUPLES  SHOULD NEVER USE  DURING CONFLICT

1. I regret the day I met you
2. I hate you
3. I wonder how I ended up with a man like you
4. You are the most useless man I have ever seen
5. Shame on you
6. You are a wicked man
7. Weak man
8. Horrible man
9. Casanova
10. Drunkard
11. In spite my efforts to manage your small dick
12. Terrible woman
13. Bitch
14. Fuck yourself
15. Shameless he goat

Happiness is love.

The rate at which many people suffer from unhappiness in their relationships these days, is nothing but alarming. From one  severe emotional  pain of  stress to another. From one anxiety problem to another, all kinds of depression and disatisfaction issues that engulf many relationships and marriages today. If care is not taken, one maybe tempted to say that ,most of these problems that seems to be rampant amongs relationships today maybe self inflicted.

Regardless of the facts that, most women, perhaps men too; these days,think they are smart to have chosen  wealth over happiness . Smart, yeah! Smart alright! But only in reverse. Whatever choices you’ve made today, know it will  deffinatly echoe  in  your tomorrow . Many women today, for one reason or another have  sacrificed happiness for comfort, happiness for luxury, happiness for wealth. Worst still, men are also victims of this formidable  cancer. Unless people  come to the  complete realization that, choosing a life partner has everything to do with the abilities to be honest with one’s  self. The ability to be brutally honest with yourself, beyond any equivocations . People must  know that, the value of happiness far outweighs  the value of wealth. It is common reality to say that, in the matters of the heart, the interest of  happiness should come first above  other things. We all  have rights as human beings to  love whoever makes us happy. We must  love, not because of  perfection,but to compliment one another or complete one another. More realistic to say that, it shouldn't be  because you need this very person but, for the singular reason that this person needs you. If this is the only reason for love. Well,I think this reason  is far enough.

Assumption I heard is the mother of all fuckups. Even as many  people already  find it completely ridiculous to think, that as a woman or as a man, If you have one way or another dumped the love of your life for material love or luxury, please note, that you may have lost your true path in life. Love must always come first in all we do. Even though there many other  reasons why relationships hit the rock today,most ladies would  say " he was not looking ready" while others May say  "He  was too broke for me" Well, I have just a few words of advice for you. Most women that  run rampage, firing  in all cylinders,only to get trapped in a dilemma  between the devil and the deep blue sea, stocked with a man whom with all his money and wealth can not make them happy . Moreso,there men who have deliberately refused to settle down with the person they know that they  love, because of class " she is no longer my level" I often  heard many them say .True they say “Money can’t buy love”. Eventually, most men or women often come to the regret and  realize  that, happiness outweighs wealth or luxury in life, most  especially when you are trapped between making a life time decision in commitments, like marriage.

The inabilities  for many people to not see or just pretend  to not know the true meaning of  happiness; makes it so hard to chew down to the bones. Many of them who support such hypocracy often   fallen  victims because of their over ambitiousness, which may have in turn affected their perceptions about life .  Life on the other hand  can be difficult at times, capable  of throwing  all sorts of rubbish at one. Needless to say that, one way or another bad experiences May be to blame in some occassion,reasons responsible for many peoples poor sense judgements today . Perhaps you have witness the highest level of disappointments in life or your up bringing may be poor . It is  not a bad thing to want  something good for yourself. Perhaps, you have witness the depth of poverty while growing up as a child and you know what it truly means to lack the good thing of  life. Or maybe, you have seen the true face of hardship in your life, and maybe you never  want to end up in that same pit as your sister or your friend. One can understand but, one may not necessarily be a  carpenter to know a bad chair.

Many research has proven that, most men often say they were abandoned because their Ex thought they would never make it in life .While other say that their Ex clearly told them that they couldn’t wait any longer. While most women also complaine about there men leaving them because they felt they were below the belt in terms of their educational standards .

 Regardless of anything, love don’t have To be perfect, it just need to be honest, it takes a honest love to make a life time commitment. Now
When you truly find a gentleman or a wonderful lady that for no reason just  adores you, and is willing to carry you along wherever, please make yourself comfortable, because you have made the right choice. Trust me when I say that , trials would come but, the joy of happiness will always see you through. Remember, that your happiness is first above any other, also remember that, the worst fate that could befall anyone is, to end up in a forever relationship and not be in love with the person , there is no posterity in that. The choice is always for  you and you alone to take. Remember that, your happiness is paramount to your well being.

That lady!

Do you know that most women are unhappy in their love relationships. Several occasions, they had to continue to endure and nurture hope that someday it’s going to get better. Most women walk around wearing all kinds of attitudes as face, trying to pretend that all is well. Do you know that many women may have specialized in the acts deceptions to the extent that, they now deceive one  another . Do you know that many couples in relationships tend to expect so much from each other, perhaps, because of what they see on the internet and maybe learn and hear from friends. Do you know that the real reasons behind most relationships hitting the rock bottom is because of lack of contentment and Over ambitiousness.?

Regardless of anything and no matter how harsh the predicament may be, honesty is the key to a great relationship of commitment .you don’t have to deceive each other just to have the better of each other. You don’t have to pretend to have him, be real to yourself first and every other good thing in life will find you. Many of us are aware of the massive weight and pressure that the internet sometimes put on the society, especially the female figure. We are fully aware of the constant tussle between your true self and what the world expect you to be. Remember, you don’t have to always pretend to wear a smiling face, while the real you die by instalment on the inside.

You are beautiful just the way you are, not a crime at all to have role model, not a crime to want to learn from people who are better. It becomes full blown madness when you are trap or lost in the world of Someone else.  We are aware that the social media has made a convenient platform to be fake but, the choice is yours. Know your limit, know what you need. Never use another woman’s yardstick on yourself or your relationship. You must understand we are all on a journey so, know who is going your way or not because, with the internet, everybody seems to be under the illusion that  we are all going the same way. How completely untrue . Many women who have gotten too intoxicated with life  on the internet, always and almost quickly run into depression that may take an entire life time to over come.

Furthermore,be real with yourself, love who you are, be proud of who you are . Never look down on any progress no matter how small you may have achieved. Let your happiness come from within you and reflect on your outer face. Nothing ever remain the same and someday ,you will come to a realization that life has always being about choice. Life can be tough sometimes for a lady, especially when you are young and trying to make the right choice. Try at all cost to be truthful, both to yourself and character and your lover.
                     
                       NOW YOU KNOW!!!

Overdose of A.I

Do you know that by the year 2025, emotions, feelings as  human beings, regards for human life would have  reduce by 60 percent? And Life as we all know it, will  become much more harder. The ominous peril is now  upon us all  and worst still, is that  we may have as humans marginalized our humanness for the impendent new age of technological era,we  may have gone entirely below the belt,flushing the very ingredients that makes us human down the toilet. Therefore, making it even more harder for humanity to lI've life  naturally . By the time we realise, the human mind would have been completely simulated as though robotic, it becomes difficult then for  humanity to know how to care ,perhaps feel. The only thing that man may be capable of feeling will be depression, anxiety and  frustrations that will outrightly  increase by  another 50 percent. Humanity may then be  lost in the fact that, life will just be a thing that just happens in the virtual and not in real time.

 Regardless of the facts that,  there are over 7billion people in the world today and  approximately 2billion children,128 million old people within the age bracket of 80 . Be it as it may, over  5.5 billion people make use of this little devices called mobile phones and the mind blowing figures of Over 5.6 billion people that put calls across the world everyday. Not to talk about the Over 4.4billion of the world’s population that constantly make use  of the internet simultaneously on a daily basis. While  WhatsApp has the whooping figure of 1.5 billion active users ,in over 180 countries; constantly using the Whatsapp on a daily basis. Disturbing to say, that an average user of WhatsApp checks more than 25 times per day. Which  means billions and billions of words cross through from one part of the world to another. Life be much  easier we thought but, as it is these  days, life has never being more tough like it is now . Many will agree me that, even as people live together,  they seem to be more and more estranged by each other. No wonder  Sheryl turkles said, in one of her TED talks, about how we are alone together. However was we want to see it, existentialism is reduced to nothing but vague.

Last week, a family had invited me over for a dinner in their home, wonderful idea; at least so I thought . Finally I felt I was going to have a wonderful chat with a more decent, more enlightened family of our time. A senior  professor of one of the most prestigious Universities in the country. It was a privilege that I would have a chat with such a dignity. More so, not just any course of study, but  in Human Relations. Little did I know that, what was coming was going to be a shocker. After an indomitable  3 hours of still hoping that some highly intellectual conversation will occure or drop from the master’s table. Well, it didn't, almost  immediately I regretted my decision to have continued to nurture a hope for 5 hour straight for nothing. There was nothing, only 10 people including the professor, annoingly just playing with their little devices like children. This 5 hours could almost count for eternity, I was the only fellow that was not enjoying this boredom. Reason I think, I did not come with my own little device. Even the prof. Seems to be having a field day than the rest of the people around the table, as he laughed out loud occasionally  . Such a deluded irony we live for a life these days. Here we are face to face, with families, friends yet we prefer to go virtual on our selfs .

 Most people will agree with me that, it is easier to tell nowadays of how a person feels from an emoticons and smileys that pops up on our social platforms. But difficult to decipher  the expressions on a real face, how ironic this is. Regardless of anything, I counted my loss and discovered the  only thing I profited from the dinner, was the boring meal that I felt almost immediately that whoever May have prepared it, may have also being playing with the little  device called mobile phone, what a horrible meal. At least they got the water and the assorted wine right. It was unfortunate that I left the place completely feeling disappointed and empty, no one on the table noticed my leaving anyway, except for a beautiful 5years old girl, that gave  me just a 15 seconds attention ;with such a honest fine smile and a wave that could almost give a life time’s impression . Well, I thought within myself again, as I walk the path that leads to the main exit of the house. I thought about  the recent paradox of life gone epidemic,indeed  been  truly alone together.

This compound ominous lunacy of silence, that just gets hold of us and we completely just loose control and  disconnect from reality  only to connect with an imaginary dimension make-real. Communications  via voice has reduced  completely, as  many people  now  prefer virtual friends to real friends, people prefer the hypocrisy of hiding true self in a world of illusion . Many people would agree with me on the case that, most people in the world today, now have dual personality .Insane to think, that sometimes I hear conversations like “ you are more fun on social media than in reality". True they say, whatever breaks in two, never breaks even. We must more than ever,try to educate people in there wild appetite for the internet and the social media. One must learn how to find a balance between the two instead of marginaliaction. We must keep in mind that the internet is suppose to make life easier not make it worst, is suppose to help us not destroy us, it is suppose to further increase our bind as human beings and not separate us.  

Eventually technology is fast replacing almost every  portion of  our dear  humanity. These  new found technological opium that only makes us so high on deceptions, only to leave us come crashing back  to the ground. These little piece of technology that hangs around every corner of our homes, beside our beds, in our pockets, in our purses, beneath our pillows even while we sleep. This little devices are slowly putting us all in one big bag of  illusions, under the spells that simply makes us think that,what is more important is no longer important after all.  This piece of device, sometimes can be a distraction. Research has proven that the numbers of  people that have continue to go into severe depression  over the past 2 decades has become alarming, all because, many people have allowed this device to dictate how they should live.

Heart breaking to know, that if all cares are not taken. The next  generation to come  may no longer see the need for culture and traditions or religion. Everything that makes us truly human would have been turn apart bit by bit . The unusual threat is the over dependency on  answers from search engines. How does Google recognize who is asking . Many parents these days shy away from their responsibilities by giving their children with mobile phones and the internet. The most terrible fate that  can possibly happen to anyone is  to leave their children for technology to take care of.

Worst still is that, this  little devices may have slowly  become the simulations of our minds. Research also has proven that 70- 80 percent of relationships begin to fall apart because of these little piece of device, that are now the twin replica of our minds. A researcher once said, that a phone is a complete replica of its owners  both in spirit, soul and body. There is so much powers in the hands of everyone,please use it well 

Stay away when he's drunk

“ when the did is done, that which is done , can never be left undone”

This was the exact expression that described what happened in my  neighbor's house  last night.He was drunk and stupid and he did the unthinkable.  The young couple  just moved in a few months ago.Recently he started a bad routine of coming back late at night. He would go to  work in morning like a normal guy and not return  back home until late night . When he finally arrives, he begins his stupid tantrums here and there , and waves from one end of the house to another, like a war flag soon to be burnt down. While he does this,one May think, he conspired with all the host of demons in hell, just to annoy the living day light out of his wife.In my heart I would pray for his wife to just stay away from him and shut up. I think she may not be aware that, you can not reason with a drunkard. I would hear her speak to him,hoping she was communicating Perhaps." Ignore him" I continued to wish for her in my heart. like a plague just avoid him. Then,by the time the rhythm of the alcohol content completely takes  him to another different realm , where Olympus will have no choice but fall to the ground. Like a log of wood i often hear her insult her husband as fall asleep.Only then are you permitted to help him. Perhaps, remove his shoes and his cloths and all. If your Man is not a  violent drinker, you may approach him when he is drunk but, when you have the type that after getting drunk he becomes unreasonably aggressive well, you know what to do. Avoid him till he falls asleep.

Early this morning ,I saw the young woman moving her things from her husband’s house. It was not a good scene at all to behold . My neighbor’s wife that,if one would use a car to describe her. I think she will pass for  a Porsche or a Lamborghini. A master piece she was of blessed memories, what a class act. I have never noticed any spot on her face. A Fulani Meduguri ,tall educated piece of beauty like this woman.

Last night she was reduced to nothing by a drunk lunatic of a husband. Who seemed to have re-arranged this woman’s face to the extent, the pretty hair that use to be on her head, now tangled together like the snakes of Medusa .He did that to her  around 1:30 am last night. They said he did, because she stood in his way and ask him where he was coming from at 1am midnight . I heard, the idiot didn’t waste time before he re-arranged the complete anatomy of her face. The Porsche or Lamborghini I used to know is now  below the belt, she is nothing close to beauty anymore. From where I was standing ,anyone could see the mad  husband on his kneels , ashamed, repentant  perhaps,as he begged neighbors to help him beg his beloved wife. The annoying cliche that cascaded down his rediculous  lips was. “ Baby, it  was the devil” he cried out. The did is done, followed by damages. The drunk lunatic suddenly became Mike Tyson as he turned his wife to a punching bag last night. Allowing the unfortunate woman to gain weight she did not plan for from his fists. If she had know, she would have just ignore the idiot and allow him to sleep out his mystery, so that by the time he wakes up then you can nail some senses to his head. How do you reason with a drunk person. What kind of reason do you want to reason with a drunk self . When he is drunk, know that he is no longer in complete control of his actions, so please stay away from him. At that time ,he is dangerous I promise you.

         10 reasons when he is drunk
          You stay away!
         
1. He is not in control
2. He is angry
3. Aggressive
4. Dangerous
5. Unusually defensive by violence
6. Strong adrenaline
7. He won’t remember his action when the alcohol eventually wears off
8. He is completely soaked in regrets
9. Unclear sense of judgements
10. He is redundantly stupid

Right attitude to life

The endless pursuits of happiness, has made many people today to believe in the illusion that simply states that  attitude may one way or another begot  altitude in life. Many  May disagree, others may agree with the many who may claim that, or   generally think that their attitude is determined  or formed only by virtue of what people say about them.  Regardless of anything, many May disagree completely with this statement. It is completely arguable by others, that the choices we make plays a large role in the forming of our attitude, which may eventually transform into our altitude in life. The blame game has been one of the fantastic avenue to completely shy away from responsibilities of accepting our failure, most especially when we  fail to make the certain right decisions in life. Your choices you have made today, will also impact your success tomorrow. Eventhough ,We many times dwell too long in the past, marginalizing  the present which makes this very point vulnerable to the right approach. We live for people, forgetting personal integrity which should have brought  out the greater good in us.

Needless to say that, Into the hands of every individual is given power. A volition to choose between  good and evil. Sometimes the price to pay for any of these decisions is mostly not negotiable, many times on the high side . But if we can  start converting input into output in the way we analysis situations, on a daily basis. Only then can  every decision, attitude or behavioral pattern can be delivered out rightly. There is no limit to your rising in life when you connect to the right attitude in life. Once you understand and try to be  fair with your attitude towards life. Only then will you be able to notice the realities of how life is meant to be truly lived. Know this that. “ The right attitude is the best  weapon to live life, look for it, guide it with your life if you have to. It will take you good places I promise you”.
                                                                                                                       M K.

Pursuits of purpose

Hey! The most predominant expressions you  Will find,  on the faces of people today is  “ I just wanna be successful “ that’s the dream of anyone you find  on the streets anywhere today. Not many people enjoy what they do for a living but, we do what we do just to survive. Life is tough out there, time don’t wait for anyone and life just keeps happening. Most people while in school never believed life could be  so tough. At least, most young people just feel once they are through with school , get a dream job and everything just become so beautiful. Only, when they  are done with school life happens. I have come to realize that the most passionate people in the world today, are the people who  pursue talents after education or those who end up studying a course that is already in line with what they have always wanted to do.
In the world today, many successful people just use education to blend their skill and they become successful.

To be successful, you don’t have to drive the most fancy car or live in an exotic house. My own definition of success is simply doing what you are created to do. Now, doing what you know how to do best, something that just flows from within you so effortlessly, you don’t find it difficult to do or want to do. Something that you have this deep interest for , something that you keep pursuing no matter what, you just find yourself doing, whether your environment make it convenient or not ,you doing it. This thing has to be noble, you will find it through you gives so much to the society without giving you much in return.

Needless to say that, the happiest people and the most successful people in the world today are the people who pursue their talents, skill. Many of us have it in us , along the line when we are growing up we just sideline it. Now, because you sideline or marginalized it doesn’t mean that it no longer exists. Instead it’s always there and most times you just pick it up unconsciously and you find yourself doing it. For example, drawing. I have a friend who is gifted right from when we were young, he likes to draw, he is passionate about it when we were much younger . He would draw on any pepper her saw, he has this gifted hands that whatever he uses his hands to make just end up being beautiful. But because of the economy  situation of the family, his father made him study Business administrations so he can one day do better in his auto-mobile spare parts business. Kunle’ my friend had to drop his gift to pursue a degree in Business administration. To make long story short , he could not cope with his fathers business and instead he chose to become a professional shoe maker. Well, that broke his father’s heart with disappointments. Today, Kunle’ makes shoes for celebrities, he is successful and most of all he is happy. He shoes are so expensive that a common Man like me May not be able to afford them.

            How to identify your purpose

1. What do you think about often : what is that skill that exudes from you effortlessly, that people often make a very good comment on.

2. Do you do it unconsciously : I noticed something with my friend kunle’ at that time. When they make him unhappy or even angry at home! The first thing that can take his mind of the anger is his pencil and paper.

3. Ask your parent: you can as well ask your parent, what it was that you love to do When you were young. That could be a good starting point as well.

4. Be truthful to yourself : in your search for purpose, you must be ready to empty your thoughts of fantasy and be ready to be truthful to yourself and character. You must search honestly without being too over ambitious.

5. Do not underestimate: when you find it, do not underrate it or underestimate it’s look. Only when you embrace it that it will embrace you too.

Depressed and alone

If you are out there and you feel empty or alone. Perhaps  you feel like there  is no one that understands or care. If You are out there and you feel confused, lost. Sometimes  It feel so hard at times to lift your head above waters, or you just feel as if the entire world is  crashing down upon you . If you are out there and you feel rejected or marginalized in anyway, nothing seems to work out. Sometimes its difficult to see things clearly well . I  want to assure you that, I may not be able to tell you the right exact words you want to hear. I may not even be close to the kind or class of person you may like  to hear things  from. 

Maybe I don’t even know  exactly how you feel right now. One thing  I am sure of  is, I know how it feels to be  rejected. At least, I know how it feels to give up everything you've got or believe in for someone, only to get nothing in return. I use  to feel so much anger, stress, anxiety. It was so bad, that I always isolated myself, not because I don’t want people around me, but because I was scared of getting hurt.  I was completely mad at the things I wanted so bad to change and I couldn't, there was no one I could talk to that can understand how I feel on the inside. Growing up was tough, it was not easy. 

However, I know how it feels to lost someone, I know how it feels to be heartbroken . I think I also know how it feels to wait for a long time for someone, only to be disappointed. If you think you find  yourself in the depth of a gloomy situation like this. Perhaps, you are worried about how you can fix the problem, solutions are not coming, you feel you getting more and more confused on everything that surrounds you. When you find yourself manifesting in all this behavior, below are listed problems and solutions. 

          The 10 signs of depression

1.Loss of interest in daily activities. You don’t care anymore about former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.

2.Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.

3.Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping.

4.Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.

5.Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.

6.Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.

7.Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports. Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.

8.Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

                       

          The 7 solutions to stay alive. 

 1.      Worry

The voices like “if he loves, why did he have to go” all those questions that can only bring you pains and harm. Never allow yourself wonder in that woods too long.Look  for things that makes you happy, things that always gives you confidence. Memories of good moments , I know sometimes it’s hard but, one must  always be hopeful .

  2     .Love your life

What is going to kill a man, is going to kill a man. One thing you can’t do is, to save a man from himself . Your life is entirely yours, yours to keep, yours to protect ,yours alone. The choices you made, perhaps make, will always count for something eventually. Life is yours and whatever the  choices you have made, you will  always be held accountable . You can either choose to be happy or sad ,live of die. Life means time,whatever you choose to do with your life will always echoe in your future

3.   Castles in the air

The most important thing in the life of anyone is to be honest , be honest at least to yourself. Honest to character, you must know who you truly are; regardless of all the distractions around you. Don’t go building castles in the air, do not compare your journey in life with anyone. Know that your path in life will always be different.  You are different and unique in every way. Learn to begin your life however ,no  matter how small do it ,build it from the scratch if you have to 

4.     Greed

Life is about living together and dying alone. The life is not about yesterday or tomorrow or the next 1 hour. The life is now, it is happening now. The depth of life is not about the things you can pursue and get in life, but what’s important is how much people’s life you can touch or affect with your own life. You must at all times be ready to share, no matter how little.

5. Happiness

Happiness is one of the key to a good life, so be happy at all times. No one is worth one  string of frown on your face. Never allow anyone take away your joy and happiness, the price for getting them is not negotiable. Whatever you go through in life, always understand that life will always be better. Being hopeful is important.

6. Disappointments

It is human nature to disappoint, you must learn never to put too much trust in people. Growing up, my grandparents thought me an important lesson, to never put my trust in anyone, not even family. They told  me how jealous God is and how much  God hates to share his glory with anyone. So God will always teach us through disappointments on hoe to trust all things to him alone. What I always do and has always worked for me is, to give everyone the grace of disappointments, so that when you disappoint me I can easily dust it off. Like the saying “ expect the worst, while waiting for the best”

7. Anger

Anger can will never bring you any good thing in life. Anger can only destroyed more than it can fix. I know some experience in life can  beat you down, completely reduce you to almost nothing.  Life can be tough sometimes and anger is not a good place you want to be. Instead learn to accept things and move on. Life is a test, and you must learn from all sorts of experiences

Where have they all gone

The shambolic nature that once threatened the security of the country Nigeria is suddenly put to bed. One May wonder for how long, as others are tempted to think about the odds in this very equation. The senseless killings by the Fulani Herdsmen is suddenly put on hold. Shocking, as everyone now wonders about where they have they all suddenly gone to? Offcourse, we are more than grateful for the fine peace we now enjoy. The country can now breath or sleep with both eyes closed. The government of the day have saved us all, but for how long how long before the next strike. Have they all gone for break until after the election too. Strange, anyone May call it, the complete quietness from once formidable raven dog ; permits us all to raise our eyebrow.

Need I remind us of the mayhem this society has faced in the recent times past, The audacious insecurity from this incumbent regime. There are palpable evidence that the Nigerian security agencies, at times, encouraged, and even, aided herdsmen attacks on farming villages. In the first eight to nine months of the year 2018, with the obvious acquiescence of the Buhari administration, Fulani herdsmen killed more than 2, 075 persons, burnt down 2, 850 houses and displaced more than 104, 300 individuals.

The sudden hold on the spree of attacks marveled us  all, did they suddenly grew tired of the killings and butchery of innocent human beings. That lull is ominous; it demands an explanation. The sociopathic, blood-drenched mass-murderers could not have become repentant, and thus, on their own, resolved to end the butchery of the innocent and the forceful takeover of other people’s land.

What a wonder, the last time we ever heard of their operations was in the 9th month of the year 2018. One maybe tempted to ask about the kill switch, we were not aware that there was an on and off kill switch.  Not to mention, the rediculous amount of menace that paraded  the affairs of this country sometimes last year from this terror. Perhaps the holders of this switch May have there hands full and they need to concentrate on the forth coming  elections at hand." Bad publicity is bad for business" they say .

Needless to say that, if our president is Fulani and it was during his regime as president that, the Fulanis suddenly become so powerful to the extent they parade the country side with assault rifles,killing people in mass, destroying properties and lifes . Worst still, they walk around the country side above The law. The Fulanis have never been know to be so popular like they were since the last 4 years. The senseless killing without any form of substantial sopinion carried out,well  their sudden silence has being noticed . One May be right to think that the government of the day is completely aware of how vulnerable we are , and how much of a short memory the society has. One maybe right to say that the people of this regime are guilty, how come the Fulanis are suddenly quite since the past 6 months. Could it be that somebody in the upper room is holding the kill switch and  they want their Man to come back  again so that the madness can continue. No wonder the world will never take us serious in times of insecurity, because 80% of our problems are from within. Worst still is, this very administration has none of our interests at heart ,if  you want this country to move on past all the senseless killing from the Fulanis, there is no doubt it will not  continue if you do not vote with your sense.  " To be fore warn, is to be fore armed".

Humanity in danger

I still don't understand, I need somebody to clearify a few things for me. I noticed that , when humanity was a little backward in terms of technology advancements ,scientific breakthroughs. I think life meant so much, people lived longer than they do these days.

Please correct me if am wrong, this are not facts, but the things I have noticed on my own, with my environment. I realised that in recent times,children given birth to are outstandingly very smart. Yesterday, i was with a friend and i noticed that his little boy is barely 8 months old and he is already walking , he can point to stuffs, he knows when you are not happy and to mention but few, he understands human emotions, as little as he is. As I take a strole back home I begin to think about the stories my Mama told me about myself, how of all her children I was the smartest. Yet, I took my first step at 1 year 8months. I think everything just happened at that tone,in  their own pace. Perhaps things are just moving a little too fast this days, I think the reasons being that,  the over ambitiousness also reflects on the children the kind of chemically induced foods we eat and the scientific medical scientific discoveries we sometimes sentence our body sistem to. Moreso, perhaps ,for the fact that we push outself too much insearch for knowledge alters the process of things to not follow there natural due procedures of growth.

Needless to say how fast people age this days,mystifies me. The  so much struggle, the competition on the streets is so tight, man must survive. Also coupled with all kinds of break throughs in different works of life through  science, leaving us with all sorts of side effects that affect us and the enviroments we live in. Everything this days is designed through the help of science to break through all the gradual natural processes call  growth.

Worst still,  Natural habitats is difficult to come bye in the market this days. Hybrid food is all we see these days, difficult to find real organic food. When you eat food made from hybrid crops, animals fed or breeded by pure science. Most business, farmers no longer want to grow plant, crops naturally. Since science has opened their eyes to the rediculous  profits in the use of artificial methods. No body seems to talk about side effects these days, as  the truth has become to expensive to come bye. " we live in a time of universal deciete, telling the truth is a revolutionary act"  George Orwell. Nothing feared me more like that of Chicken for example, with the help of hybrid foods and scientific medicine, a chicken can be ready for chop withing the space of 2 months. Now, when you eat such chicken and you eat an average local chicken, breeded  on the farm,with natural food and under natural environment . Almost anyone can testify of the difference in the taste and nutritional values.

Life is short, but humanity and it's discoveries are making life even shorter. Regardless of the facts that, this pollutions have completely gone below the belts. If human consumptions is nothing but chemicals then, what do we have, what kind of show are we putting on. If all this so called chemicals come in from the Overseas and now they have refused to buy our yams because there is high contents of fertilizer in our crops, is that not ironic.

Now according to my lay man knowledge, if we eat of all these in-organic foods and we grow,blossom only to die shortly afterwards. From one illness or another, one way or another you fall pray to an illness that your body anatomy may not  be able to withstand because,you have been eating unhealthy foods. So you get purnished for it by  dieing before your time inevitably. Not to mention that these days, the common advise by doctors! "Eat food like medicine, or you eat medicine like food". Well, I still wonder, I think now I get it clear. Eat organic food only and you can live long for your families or go inorganic,you grow; but not for long.  Do not in your chase to live like them, make you die like them. There is limit to curiosity. The makers of most of this products  hardly even  eat of  them, so before you hand over your life in the hands of science,please think twice at least.

5 reasons why he can not leave you

Attracting the right kind of people can be tedious, especially if you are lost as to how to go about it. Not to worry, here are five excellent tips that can help you play a more active role in finding romance.

Keep an open mind

When it comes to flirting, mingling and attracting people to you, your goal should not be to walk into a room, identify someone who seems like your type, and put all your energy into catching their attention.
When you’re too target specific, you close yourself off to so much. Instead, focus on chatting with a few people—no matter who they are—and build a hub of positive energy from there. The more people in your social network, the more you’ll be able to branch out.

Maintain an open body language

Whether you’re eating at a restaurant, relaxing at the bar, or waiting in line at the grocery store, certain non-verbal cues will stop a potential conversation-starter in his or her tracks.
To appear more approachable, put your phone away, remove your headphones, straighten your back, uncross your arms, and relax the muscles in your face. People will see you as calmer and more Approachable this way.

Position yourself strategically

Asides being open to meeting new people, it is also important to position yourself in a place where promising interactions are likely to happen. If the entire bar is open, find a seat in the middle or at the corner. It’s the epicenter: the bartender is in front of you and everyone else is to your left and right. At parties and events, it’s best to seat at the food and drinks table, or a seat by the couch with a few friends. Place yourself there and open up your energy. People will come to you that way.

Start conversation by saying hi

First, take in your surroundings: observe who is in the room, how they seem to be connected, and who appears to be noticing you. The second thing to do is to get curious: say hi, ask a question, or make a statement.

Share a piece of yourself

Once you’ve initiated a conversation, keep it going by asking meaningful questions and offering personal answers. Move away from facts and surface-level stuff and go into questions about the other person.
You can ask questions like “What brings you here?” and “Are you from the area?” By sharing your journey, you can have them share theirs.

7 tips that will increase your life span

                 

1.Do not keep  many friends : you don’t need many friends, you just need few good ones. Too many of them can be a distraction.

2.Keep work away from home: No matter how stressful or the amount of pressure you see at work, please make sure you drop them before getting home. Never allow anything deprive your family of your time

3.Never put too much hope in anyone : It is human nature to disappoint, knowing this fact just get you prepared for whatever May come your way

4.Always expect disappointments from people : There is a wise saying that “ hope for the best while expecting the worst”. People will always disappoint you,they will fail you and so it doesn’t beat you down when it happens. Learn to give people, anybody 50 – 60 percent of disappointments up front. So when that when you disappoint me it doesn’t shock me

5.Enjoy your family time: make sure your family have your undivided attention every time,do not let anything come between you and your family.

6.Know the value of happiness ,never trade it for anything: There are few things that makes a man happy, know it and do it respectively

7.Eat well: Food is important, enjoy life

Season of love

Respect your wife Man!

The endless ringing from my phone has brought my business in the restroom to an untimely end. By the time I dashed back  to the room to pick the call, it stopped, annoyingly.  it was my friend ‘Teniola’ who has being  calling me. Such an ungodly hour stilfor her to call; I wondered. While I danced back and fort in an eloquent dilemma, to call her back or  not to . On the clock it was midnight already. I concluded to fashi till morning. But What if she it was an emergency and I was the first contact on her contact! Fuck it! I decided to call ,just when I was about to call a what’s up message drops ,yet again, the nessage was from her and like a curious cat I opened the message, too quickly to find out about her troubles. What I found next was even bigger that I anticipated.

“ I have finally left your friend Leo” she began “ I can no longer tolerate him " she apologied,as she continued “ heaven knows I love him, I have never loved anyone like I love him ” reading through those first line broke through every single wall of emotions within me. I know her ,for she is a very strong person ,but leaving was too extreme no matter the situation. Perhaps a little patience more could have helped. Yet again my curiosity will not let me rest , for the suspense was too much ,I needed to know why ,I needed to know how a marriage not upto a year would crash so quickly. I know my friend can be impossible besides, i was with him a few days ago, he didnt look trouble or anything! ” There is nothing I do that is ever good in his eyes ,there is nothing I ever do that he appreciates. we have being struggling, he complains about everything. He complains about my cookings  and compares it to other women, he would insult me from morning to evening, I am never good for anything. Sometimes he would insult me and disrespect my parents in my presence, he complains about my job ,he complains about everything ,there is absolutely  nothing I ever do that is good enough for your friend. He doesn’t regard me! Neither does he respect me. I don’t even need anything from him but a little thank you would have gone a long way sometimes. I would close from my work and rush straight to the market,just to make sure he doesn't complain. Upon arrival from the market and coupled with the stress from work only for  your friend to say he is not going to eat my food,that the food was too late. Leo ,the reason I have put up with him for this long was because I didn’t want any third party, but as it is, I no longer care, I want to be happy , I deserve to be happy . It’s been 3 weeks and 4days since he last spoke to me ,the only time i get his attention is in bed and it is without emotions or feelings. There is practically nothing I do that is ever good enough and worst still, he has a bad temper . Whenever  he is angry I usually lock myself in my room ,he would… I am scared Leo , I think I may have made a mistake about “Semiu” he never showed me any of this vices while we were dating and I asked you Leo, I did and you promised me that he was a great guy, he pretended and now look at where I have found myself, is a shame that this my predicament now. As I am already on my way to Lagos, I am sorry if my decisions disappoints you. This is the end between your friend and I, I have a young daughter that needs me, good bye Old friend".

Regardless of the shambolic nature of this situation , the worst fate that could possibly befall any man is to let a good woman go. There is no retribution, no punishment enough that can equal that fate. When your woman  stops believing in you, or stop loving you, at this point just know that you are  finished. When you as a man push your woman to that point of self realization, where she now know how powerful she is or how she can survive without you ! My brother just know it is finished. Samiu my friend, so much size for an eyeballs, I have always wondered how someone could have ginormous balls hanging on his head and still can not see the truth. Truth they say “Opkolo eye, e no be open eye”.

Needless to say, that on several occasions I have  come to your house and i complained bitterly about this your sick attitude towards this woman.Well, am beginning to think  that truly , some men are not just lovable. Regardless of all your short comings ,she is mostly aware of your stupid life of adultery, yet she never complained once, and to say that It was because of me she finally choose get married to you just makes  me as much as guilty as you are Samiu.

I know there are lot of women going through almost the same predicament as Teniola. You find yourself stuck with a man who do not appreciate anything you do. Nothing is ever good enough in his eyes. That’s a very terrible attitude, it is not good at all. A real man should be able to take care of his family, it is  your duty as a man to make your family happy at all times. I know sometimes it cacan be difficult to handle but ,let it be known that you tried. Courtesy demands that you say thank you when anyone does any thing for you. Attitude is a very important virtue ,you must discipline yourself enough to  lead well. Empathy is also key ,for a woman to leave het parent's house only to be stuck with a man that gives her hell,  that’s not fair at all. Respect your home ,treat you wife nice, shower her with love and gift.

More so, always remember that every home has it’s  challenges , there is a regular saying that “ it is hair that covered a monkey that makes us all think it doesn’t sweat” marriage is not a bed of roses, divorce is not a good option. As husband and wife, you both must learn to endure one another, you must accept as a man that you do not have any other option aside your wife.

Furthermore, both party must know the importance of  communication and discipline . I know it’s sometimes hard  to ignore all the distractions out there. No matter what, do not bring them home, do not indulge in act you will never be proud of when you search deep down your heart. As a man, you must learn to appreciate your woman tell her sorry every time, sorry not because you are wrong, but sorry because you care about her well being than just being right. Appreciate her , make her feel like a queen ,tell her how much you are so lucky to have her in your life. Then you will eventually see how fast she grows into being the woman you have always wanted her to be.

All about date nights.

A friend of mine walked in to my house last night feeling bad and depressed. I wondered why , at first he didn’t look like he was going to want to talk bout it. As a matter of fact, i noticed he didn’t come to me to actually talk about it, I think he came around because he needed to just take his mind of his problem; perhaps if we gist about a thing or two he might shake the mood off. When he came In, I was watching a fine romantic movie ,I didn’t know it was a bad idea. While I was busy enjoying my movie! I didn’t know that my friend was wallowing in some depressing  funny emotional issues. By the time the movie was over ,my friend looked like a teenage boy whom his girl friend just told, that she missed her period. By the time he was ready to say something,  he had to make me promise; to not call him an idiot. I did, but not for long . By the the time he was done with his narrating his troubles, i realized the only word that could express how I feel at that particular time was "idiot". what a class act of a joke my friend really is. i began to wonder about the expression "who goes to a gun fight with a stick? If not Mr Ken Olaoluwa Tosin.

Ken has never really being  the girl kind of person, he doesn’t really socialize much, as a matter of fact he is a little rusty when it comes to Keeping relationships  with the opposite sex. By the time my friend told me all that happened on his date, with a girl that  took him over 7 months to approach! I just shook my head and felt like giving him a sucker punch, and I am very sure you all will be tempted to do worst by the time you all heard all he did.

There are  things you should  never say or do  on your first date. For no reason should you , My friend did and scattered ground with just 3 questions that landed  the entire night in a total disaster. Well, am very sure he won’t forget this one in a hurry. Regardless of the fact that, I didn't quite get the  reason why there is an icecream chunk hanging on his back. Well, part of me still believes there might be more to This very version of his story , I wish I had an eye witness. This were the things my friend said to the supposed lady he went out with on a date,he had planned on his head for weeks.

1. Tell me about yourself : like seriously, well, too strong of a start to begin with. Needless to say that I am not against the question asked by Mr Ken. I am concerned about “The how” how the lady is going to react to that kind of question, that came with an official tone, with such authority like an interview. I became tempted to ask when the whole date thing happened , and he said it was  "just this evening" he said in a very very down tone. In all curiousity, i ask again, how come it was suit you decided to wear to a date in this kind of hot weather.you dey fall Boys hands abeg, haba! Error number 1. you should have at least gone home and change to something a bit user friendly, am sure you've being wearing this all day, you should have gone home first and change to something a bit social at least. How did she react to the question I asked Ken? By the look on Ken's face, i had all the answers i needed. Next time, I just hope there will be next time with her, try to be more  friendly, funny, try to make her laugh, make her comfortable with you first. You have to establish that trust with her first, then be yourself and just be cool. She didn’t come for a job interview! She came to have fun with you and you blew it, by being a Jackass.

2. How old are you : who does that, who ask a lady her age on a date. That is disrespect of the highest order. There are questions you never ask a lady , especially  on a first date. There are a lot of thing my friend could be doing like flattering her, saying some sweet things about her looks and all. Instead, he chooses to be an Ass.

3. Are you a virgin: who in the name of God,ask that kind of question. Rediculous, stupid question. If i was her, the kind of insult i will rain down on you! You would need umbrella. Like who were you again! The virginity police! I am disappointed in you my friend and I am completely ashamed of myself  for being your friend.I don’t where I  was when you  were becoming this much of a disaster  . Yet again, I was tempted to hear her reply , she just excused herself and left. “she left me their without saying a word” but deep within me I think the lady said enough. I didn't know there were still guys like this , until yesterday. Few tips, 5 things you must know before going on a date.


1 . You must respect the  lady and show it to her, you must be ready to impress her by being a gentleman. You must always do everything  after her. First ,you don't seat unless she does, the waiter gets her orders first befor yours. Research has proven that women like to feel important, they like to be treated like a queen,so treat her as such.

2. Pay attention to her ,ask her about her day at work or whatever it is that she does ,do not bore her with burning questions. Make it look like a conversation.

3. Make sure you are dressed for the occasion: do not dress too serious, look clean ,wear a decent hair , make sure you smell nice and make sure you both maintain eye contact at interval. The eyes they say , is the window to the soul. From the looks on her eyes you should be able to know if you are doing ok or not. After she has something to eat or drink,you may
Tell her about yourself, be honest. Women like it when a guy is honest and straight in a funny way.

4.Tell her about your feeling for her, establish your prospect ,establish how much you would love to see her again. Try to to be emotional,most ladies are always curious to know about your last relationship, be very careful man, this one is a tricky one.Be honest,she is just looking for territory.

5.Make sure you accompany her the cab or her car,when you are done. This gesture is always very important.  If you are dropping her off, make sure you open the door for her and ensure she is already settled before you go to your driver’s seat.Before you move, relax and ask her if she had fun,If you do everything completely, you won’t end up like my friend here Ken. Am sure, she you will see her again.

5 things to know and do when he is cheating!

                               

Research has proven that when a man is cheating there are a few reasons . Most ladies would agree with me when I say, there is no  reason  good enough to make a man cheat on his partner. But the world world is a crazy place, where almost anything is possible . With the world is an unfair place fast becoming a global village however. However, When a man decides to cheat on the one true person he claims to love and never to hurt , from the traces on his behaviors one can see that he is up to no after all. Now, he comes home to you accompanied Dr strange and all the evidence are pointing directly  to the fact that he may have been with another lady, perhaps not an affair but , one never can be too sure .

Regardless of anything,you are sure  he is cheating ,you have noticed all his odd behaviors , how unstable he is when he is with his phone, how he can almost be physical when you play close to his phones. How he hides to pick calls at odd hours.You have also noticed that he no longer rush after you when he comes back from work like he use too, even when you make afforts to make him see you, he is always complaining that he is tired . He no longer want to discuss anything with you.

Furthermore,when a man is in love he tries to impress his lover ,so he tells her everything, he tells her about his work ,who did this and who didn’t. Who got queried and who didn't.  Who fell from the staircase and who didn’t. Who is a dick in the office and who is not . He basically tell his lover everything , as a matter of fact , from the power and the skill in his descriptions; it make it so clear to the extent , you begin to feel like you work in that office. Now, now he has being talking to someone else, then he has nothing to say to you.All of a sudden he plays too safe because he obviously do not want to shoot himself in the leg. If you have noticed all these things in your partners behaviors in recent times and you have the conviction that he is cheating. This are the 5 things you must do when you discover that he is cheating.

1. Don’t confront him : he is already expecting you to; so dont. he his looking for any excuse to justify his actions, he is guilty already. Try as much as you can not to get in his way, pretend not to see all his attitudes. He is going to put up that show for few days .In those few days, make sure you are extremely nice to him . As a matter of fact do it so well that he begin to question himself

2. Always maintain eye contacts : Make sure before he returns there is a good show waiting for him. Make sure you are always on point as regards your swag "be hot" at all time.make your hair ,do your nails, make sure you look seductive.Ultimately, it is paramount you look into his eyes at all times. Constantly maintain eye contact with him every time. The eye is said to be the window to the soul . Seduce him, make him say “there is something different with you, there something unusual about you ,I don’t know” believe me it works. Now, you are using him to fight your battles, the other woman out there don’t know him like you do ,the only thing she has, is her ability to see his frustrations and capitalized on that . Reasons why Side chicks trive in our societies today is there abilities to see what is lacking in a man, "happiness" mostly,they try to see the vacuum and they occupy it ,then they increase it from there . They treat him nicely fuck him like he was 25 in ageo . You on the inside gives him hell , because he is cheating, so she uses the situation to get him even more. It’s not difficult, a man don’t know how to hide anything and that’s why it is so vulnerable, it show on him and ladies cab smell it when a man is having trouble at home .

3. Stop doing that! : when a man tells you I don’t like this, I hate it don’t do it. Know that you are not the only one he is talking to .Now ,when suddenly he stops complaining ,know there someone already fixing that . What you on the inside must do is to use your husband to send message a to his Side chick ,because the only reason he is with her is because of the frustrations at home. He come home and noticed that all you guys will do is to fight,he knows that you are constantly going to be in a fight and angry mode, so you will never know about his infidelity. Surprise him, don’t fight, instead be nice and romantic .Trust me, he will be afraid.

4. Alibi: Make sure his alibis for cheating is usually because you don’t do this, you don’t do that .Now you looking pretty, while you are busy with your own work you send him text as short as “ you know I love you right” that’s going to be like assurance for him. The things he misses usually makes him run into another woman’s hands

5. The confessions : After a while, when you discovered that everything has come back to the way you want them to be. You begin by saying that “I know things were a little tough around us, I know I did a few thing that got you upset, perhaps even pushed you away  to the extents I felt you were doing things you were not proud of. I know this period you cheated on me, please don’t do it again. More so, tell that lady that I know her and i know where she lives.The manner at which you say these things matters, the timing also matters, tone of your voice also matters. Am sure he will be afraid not to mess up again.

It is  common fact,that the most  peculiar issues in marriages today is that .There seems to be this power hustle in most marriages today. We will like to use this avenue to clear the air as regards.

Let go

Whatever you hold on to for too long,eventually becomes heavy. What do you hold on to; that is so stressful, it take so much energy from you.  I don't what it is ,but one thing i know is, it takes accumulated stress to continue to hold to something like HATE! JEALOUSY! like REVENGE, UNFORGIVENESS, OBSESSION, ANXIETY . Pls! Let it go.

Keeping love is hard sometimes

Was it fate or was it me, that crashed us
into the woods. As a young girl, I was just 19 when I first experienced love. It was the second year in the University. He was such a fine sight to behold ,many didn’t know he was such a charm until we started dating. We would spend countless hours on calls, we would chat endlessly on Whatsup  and any other available social media  platforms we know. We would even go places I would never have had the boldness to go to. He was such a lucky charm , fine , handsome . He would take me from  one eatery to another and one place to another ,one friend’s place to another .Our love  was that powerful, so real that almost anyone knew that I was in love. The love was madness, we were always together ,doing stuffs together , even stuffs that I may not be able to say simply because am shy.  It was such a great time we had .I never found him wanting in anyway, such a cheerful fellow.

Like the saying goes " all good shows must eventually come to an end" I had an argument with a few of my friends that made me believe in the theory that says "every man is a cheat" while others claimed that,Men are naturally polygamous  in nature and my Boyfriend May not be an exception they said. Curiosity engulfed me with doubts, I started searching for answers to questions that were never there ,started looking for thing I do not need. Also, the saying goes “ when you keep knocking on the devil’s door, soon something is going to open” I continued to nurture and grow this evil seeds planted by friends. As they all continue to feed this new monstrosity they have unleashed inside of me. The constant voice in my head was “ all fine guys are players” . My search continued, as I endlessly  searched through his phones, looking for any available evidence of cheating. I check his out box, checked his inbox, checked his call records and all. I became delusional to the extent I would start unnecessary fights for nothing.

One day , we had a nasty fight. I never saw him so angry ,he was so mad that he left my place too early than he usually have. Few minutes later I got a text apologising for what he didn’t know. In the text he said “ these past few months has been hell for me ,its been one fight to another and no matter how much I try to escape it,I cant. I can hardly trace my fault. You constantly accuse me for nothing. Needless to say, that you are becoming impossible understand .I don’t how you fight me for something yet to occur, an offends not yet commited “. I thought about this words all night ,I actually blamed my boy friend on the bases that “someday you will now leave me for some other girl” as insane as it sounded it was true, I had never shown me any trace of that, he has never shown me any questionable character. I told myself the truth but the cancer of doubts planted in my soul was already growing too fast. I would finished my lectures and quickly dash to his department just to see first hand what he does behind my back in school ,yet again doubt come into play. All the things my friends were discussing, there advise to one another . Worst still, I took the scenarios in there relationships and implanted it in mine. I wanted to see what they were seeing in their relationship. Because of the convinction i had; that made me believed that there has to be constant fights in a relationship , if there was no fight; then there was no love. I was a fucking idiot at that time .

Eventually, I found what I was looking for. True they said " that when you pray for rain, you've gat to be ready for mud" All my fights with him payed off,  there was a girl in his department, I had proofs and he didn’t deny  it. I could not help myself with the fact that there was another girl, I held so tight to my trophy ,that my Boyfriend was a cheat.

Nevertheless, I realized that it was all me. I made my joy to sadness, i had the best of gifts something so beautiful, that was so perfect, i allowed it slip.  I allowed my ignorance to get the best of me. I listened to my friends I never knew hated my interests. I created a reality that was never mine. I shown myself the door out of his heart. It was all me, I pushed and made him unfaithful,  I did it all. I should have listen to my mother’s school Of thoughts instead “ men do not like too much disturbance or issues, not all men can handle it “ my sweetheart was one of them.

Now, I am here stucked with a guy I do not care about. He gives everything but there is no connection and all my friends back then ,non of them knows what am going through  emotionally right now. When anyone ask me about my past relationship,I simply lie. Needless to say it was perfect, it was beautiful but I destroyed it with my hands. Doubt! is a terrible thing, you want my advice.

• Never discuss your relationship with anyone

• Never rock the boat and make waves, where everything is calm and ok


• Respect your relationship

• Know when you are blessed


• Never stop believing in your man

• Learn to put yourself in his shoes sometimes

• Learn to always have your head above 

waters every time

• When you love him and he loves you, respects you. Leaving is not an option